Friendship

In life, you will encounter many people. Some of those people were meant to stay, and others were meant to leave. Some you will learn from, and others you will teach. You will have friends for-right-now, and friends for life. Whoever they are, make sure you love them and be kind.

I am very blessed to have a group of friends who are fiercely loyal, extremely loving, and all incredible in their own way. Not to brag, but my friends are full of talent, ambitious, intelligent, courageous, faithful, daring, and great blessings in my life.

Unfortunately, I have not been good with communicating with them, due to my busy life, and essentially, laziness. From this, stemmed awkwardness and I realised that if I wanted to remain friends with them, I needed to make an effort or I would lose them. One of the best things for a strong friendship, is honesty. I was holding back a lot of what I wanted to say, fearing that I would hurt someone. However, that is not healthy for any friendship. We all must understand that communication is key, but so is listening to each other’s opinion. By talking with my friends, our friendship kept getting stronger, and I was glad. Something that we should all do with our friends (and those we do not call friends too):

  1. Be Honest
  2. Be Loving
  3. Be Loyal
  4. Be Compassionate
  5. Be Kind

If you cannot talk to your friends about the good, the bad, and the ugly, are they even your friends? Are you even theirs?

In friendship, no one is a burden, and YOU most definitely are not a burden to me.

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The Far Away Friends

Now, these friends, they LITERALLY are far away. I have been lucky enough to be good friends with many people across the globe. However, I have made two special friends, a darling in the USA, and a sweetheart living in France. These are the friends I speak to once in awhile, and I know that, even though we may not be inĀ  constant contact or be able to cross paths with day-in-day-out, we shall remain friends. They had a significant impact on me, during a part of my life when I had to experience change. These are the friends who helped those changes bearable.

This also includes my secondary school friends, who are all now at different universities, or working, and still smashing life!

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The Ones Who Left

Theses friends were always meant to leave my life. They served their purpose and I realised – now looking back – the only way for any of us to move on and into the future, was by letting go. I learned a lot from these former friends. I learned about who I wanted to be, and that was, I no longer wanted to be the person I was, when with them. Although, without them, I would not be the person that I am today, and I can’t thank them enough for opening my eyes and making me wake-up before it was too late. Of course, sometimes I would like to know how they are doing with their lives, but I do not think I will ever know. So with these friends, it is best to say goodbye and, in the words of Walter Disney, “Keep Moving Forward.”

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Childhood Friends

Meeting each other so early in life, and still being connected, is an absolute honour. My girls are absolutely amazing. Be jealous. These are the friends who know WAY too much about you, and have witnessed enough of your life to write an embarrassing book documenting it all! Goodness Gracious. Nonetheless, you know that there will always be a special place in your heart for them, and that even when difficulties arise, you were meant to be friends forever. (Sorry, you’re stuck with me *gives a cheeky smirk*).

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Family

One of the best gifts in life, is being able to call your family members, your friends. My mother and sisters are true gifts from God Himself. Before anything else, they are my family first, but I have the privilege to also call them my friends. They make me laugh, they make me cry, and they make me feel loved, more than I deserve.

And The Rest…

You have many different types of friends, and perhaps you have not worked out the purpose of them being in your life just yet, but in the end, you know that you love them all.

Friends are gifts, so make sure you cherish each and every one of them. Look after them, and they will look after you. Soon you will realise that, even though life may be hard, it is less harder with your friends around to support you.

“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” – Proverbs 17:17

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Ethnically Ambiguous…?

It is quite ironic that I am constantly being mistaken for a mixed race person…and I am not even mixed race…

I will not get offended, or hold it against people who assume I am of a mixed heritage, in the traditional sense (as I am half Chinese and half Vietnamese – barely a mix). Although, I do not think I look like a mixed person. Nonetheless, I do accept that looks are very complex and range widely, so I do understand where people may get confused. I am honestly flattered when people ask me if I am mixed of Spanish, Filipino, or even sometimes an African heritage (and believe me when I say, people have questioned me about a LOT of random ethnicities too). Whasian? Blasain? What are you? Now things become complicated…

Phrasing

Be careful with how you ask a person about their ethnic origin. I personally do not mind people asking me about my ethnic background, but it is the way people phrase the questions that offends me. Avoid saying the following:

  1. “What ARE you?”
  2. “Where are you FROM from?”
  3. “Where are you from ORIGINALLY?”

Just stop it already, these jokes are going to make me laugh. Ha.Ha. Ha. Oh, you were not joking?

Beauty

Sometimes when people ask me about my heritage, I know it is just innocent curiosity. However, when people informed me that it was a “good” thing to be mistaken as a mixed race person, I realised that was a subtle insult to my own ethnicity. It is a generally accepted statement that mixed race people are beautiful (and of course they are, but so is everybody). To assume that in order for me to be beautiful, I must be mixed race, is extremely offensive to me. Does that mean someone like myself, who is from an Asian heritage, cannot be beautiful from being Asian alone? That is messed up. Of course I can! So can everybody else!

Accent

People also assume that I am mixed because of my “posh” British accent (it is not posh, I just use the English language correctly, but some beg to differ). Who knew that a person of Asian heritage could actually be born and raised in an English speaking country, and consequently master the English language?! Shocker!!! (That was sarcasm by the way, in case you did not get it – another British trait I have picked up from being British and all that jazz…)

Belonging

Sometimes, I get confused about where I belong and who I’m supposed to be. I am too “Asian” for the British community, and too “British” for the Asian community. Help!

We are all probably a mix of various ethnic backgrounds, but do not assume that things such as beauty and language acquisition belongs to an elite group of people.

Let me just say, mixed or not mixed, you are all BEAUTIFUL, all races, all ethnicities, all languages, and all people – everyone is beautiful! Beauty is not mutually exclusive to a select race or ethnicity.

Just think before you speak, and remember, that beauty is more than just appearance.